When I started this platform, one of the things that I promised was that I would show up real and authentic. That includes the days when I need to call myself out, like today.
So here’s what happened. I recently moved house. Moving for me has always been somewhat of a traumatic experience. It’s a lot of things that you have to think about – like will everything fit in the place we’re moving into, among other things. I also like things packed a certain way.
Now, my logic about how things should be packed seems to be vastly different from my husband’s logic of how things should be packed. What happened was that we just ended up constantly sniping at each other.
“You’re doing that wrong. That’s not right. You shouldn’t pack like that.”
It was just getting to a point where there was too much negative energy. Two things for you to know about me and my husband is that first, I am a Leo, so you can say I was born to be bossy, and I’m a firstborn child. I’ve always been the boss. And if you are into the Human Design stuff, I am a Manifester.
My husband so happens to be very much an alpha male. So he’s the boss with what he does in life and in his work. So you have two bosses wanting to out-boss each other when it came to packing and organizing. We were just finding ourselves constantly sniping at each other. I realized that this is not very good energy for us to be taking into our new home.
Then something came to mind, something that somebody said to me a while ago. I was told to ask myself the question, “Would I rather be right, or would I rather feel good?”
Would I rather be right, or would I rather feel good? Because a lot of the time the reason I want to be right is all about ego. I want to be right. I want to be the one who came up with the idea. But sometimes being right comes at the expense of relationships. Sometimes being right comes at the expense of constant arguments and constant sniping at each other.
You have to think about it from this context and ask yourself, “Will this matter?” This thing that I’m arguing about, this thing that right now, at this moment, feels so big and important – will it matter a day from now, a week from now, a month from now, a year from now, or 10 years from now?
If it’s not going to matter, it’s not fundamentally important. And as Elsa would say, “Let it go.”
And so through the last couple of days of our move, I kept on reminding myself of this question, “Does this matter? And would I rather be right at this moment? Or would I rather feel good?”
One of the things that we never get told as we’re getting ready to get married, or get into relationships, is how hard relationships are. Yes, if you’re trying to get into a relationship, it is a lot of work.
As children, we’ve been led to believe in ‘happily ever after’ fairy tales, and little do we ever take time to think about the fact that you’re bringing together two personalities, two different ways of thinking, and we have to figure out a way to work together. Often the reason that relationships don’t last is because people get stuck in their egos, entrenched in their egos and positions, and no one wants to back down.
This applies whether it’s a romantic relationship or work relationship. Anytime you have two different people coming together, when you find yourself in disagreement or in conflict, it’s always a great question to ask yourself, “Is this important? Will this matter a day, a week, a month, a year from now?” and, “Would I rather be right at this moment, or would I rather feel good?”
There’s a realization that I had that I can choose – I get to choose the experience that I have of moving. Whatever I choose is based on how I choose to think about it, including, do I want to be right, or do I want to feel good.
Sandra has a podcast episode on this topic in the WORTHY Podcast:
You can also watch it on YouTube: